You couldn't make this up....

This week had yet another road block put up in my eternal quest to get Older Son's speech and language report from Shrewsbury to Kingston. After finally getting a hold of someone in Shrewsbury last week to re-send the report to Kingston, I was DETERMINED to talk to a live person in Kingston this week to let them know that the new report had been sent, and to ask them to call me when it arrived. After calling and leaving a message twice, I finally talked to someone in Kingston. Here's how it went:

Me: Hello, this is _____, I'm calling about my son ________'s speech and language report that was sent down to you from Shr----

Kingston: Oh yes, Mrs _______, I've been meaning to call you, we did receive your son's report, but unfortunately it's been destroyed.

Me: ------Stunned Silence-------You're joking, right?

Kingston: No, we're terribly sorry, but it seems that his report was picked up by someone who was Shredder Happy and it got destroyed. I was going to call you to ask if you could send me the copy that you have?

Me:-----Stunned silence again----Someone got----shredder happy?

Kingston: Well, yes, but if you send the report to us we can pro-date it back to when it was originally sent, so you wouldn't have lost any time.

Me: I hope you can understand how disappointed I am in this, and how can you say that no time has been lost since you have now lost my son's report twice and a month has gone by?

Kingston: Well, you see, there is a four to six month waiting list to be seen for an initial visit, so we will just bump his report further, so now you only have-----

Me: Three to five months?

Kingston: yes. Do you have our fax number?


With the rain and the bank holiday, I have not gotten this report sent, but it will be faxed tomorrow. Here is the edited version of the cover letter to the THIRD report to be sent to this Mickey Mouse outfit:



Ms.____________,

This fax should contain the speech and language therapy report done of my son _______ by _________ in Shrewsbury on July 7^th, 2011. On the second page she recorded that she had sent you a copy of this report on that day. I am disappointed that it has taken over a month for this report to reach you. Since we arrived in Worcester Park on July 11^th I have called the speech and language office on a weekly basis to gain information on the whereabouts of my son’s report. I was first told that the report could not be found, and that I would be contacted when it was found. After a week of waiting, I called your office again to be told that the report was not found and that I would have to send it to you again. I have called every week since to find out if you received the report, only to leave my message and phone number on an answering machine that never gets returned. Today I finally reached you, only to hear you say in a casual manner that someone got “shredder happy” (direct quote) with my son’s report.

Ms ________, I do not hold you in any way responsible for the fact that____ will be starting reception in a few weeks time with a language delay that is at least two years behind that of his classmates without any speech therapy help. However, I do hope that my son’s reports will be treated in a more professional manner in the future. My son will not be able to access and learn the curriculum to his full potential unless he gets support. Since he needs help as soon as possible, I would also like you to instigate and activate my son _______’s speech therapy into your clinic’s caseload now, as his first assessment has already been completed up in Shrewsbury.

Please contact me by the above number as soon as you have received this fax, and to inform me if ______ can be instigated and activated into your caseload now.

Thank you,

So, there you go. It's good to ask people who are in the know, like speech therapists and special education specialists, for key terms that will shake things up: like "instigate and activate into your caseload". It was suggested that I also write that I am studying the 2010 Special Education Act that has just been introduced into the UK in June. I didn't want to come across as too heavy handed, but I AM going to be reading up on the law now, because it seems to get anything done, you have to play hardball.....I guess the UK version of that term would be to say I need to start playing Rounders, but it just doesn't sound the same.