Those of you who went to Girl Scout camp know the rest. Still, the song goes through my head these days, with all of us missing our old friends and trying to make the first tenuous links to possible new ones.
I have an idea of how the connections with our old friends will turn out. I've moved from place to place and coast to coast in the U.S. enough times to know that some of the people we knew will still stay in contact and be a part of our lives, while others will devolve to only facebook friends who comment on pictures of our children and send the occasional email our way. I've been guilty of doing the same thing. Long-distance friendships are a difficult thing to keep up.
I'm experiencing something new with this move to England: old and new friends with children as part of the equation. I haven't been very successful in explaining why old friends are gone to my older son. When we skype his old friend in the states, he inevitably gets depressed and asks why he can't have his friend here. He knew this friend since he was three months old. How am I supposed to find a replacement for a friend like that?
Making new friends is a whole other kettle of fish when kids are involved. Its tough enough for me, but for my older son there have been some heartbreaking moments. How does a four-year-old with a profound speech delay make new friends? Watching him try to communicate with other children in the park has been difficult to say the least. I get torn with keeping myself from stepping in and explaining to the other children (who don't really care and just stare at me blankly when I have tried) that the reason he's just joined them out of the blue and is parroting their words back to them instead of answering their questions or even asking if he can play is because he can't speak well and that he just wants to play with them. Inevitably I end up watching as they run off to another part of the park and leave him behind. "Why, mommy? The People. Want back!" he tells me, and yet again I try to tell him that he will make new friends, but he has to be patient, and when school starts things will be better. I don't even want to think of how things at school could go wrong: playground bullying scenarios keep me up at night. I keep telling myself that it wont be too bad in kindergarten/reception, and he was friendly with the children in his preschool up in Shrewsbury. I have to keep hoping that he WILL meet some decent kids. But now even I am wondering when.
So, now that we have completed moving-in to our new place, I have become pro-active in finding new friends for my older son. We can't just wait a month for school to start, and we'll be living here for a year at least. It was time for me to try and make some contact with the other moms. I feel extremely self-conscious just going up to people and saying hi, but I have, and we have met two moms with boys my older son's age. Today I even went so far as to ask one of the moms for her phone number to arrange a play-date in the future, and knocked on another mom's door to arrange a play-date next week. It's about time I make some new friends as well here, and I know that at this stage in my life my friends will probably by the parents of my sons' friends. Thank goodness I only have to worry about my older son. My younger son is young enough to just be happy with us or any toddler that comes his way. Luckily there are quite a lot of toddlers around here, too. I figure that when my older son starts school, I'll have the time to make some forays into friendships for my younger son as well.
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