Those of you who went to Girl Scout camp know the rest. Still, the song goes through my head these days, with all of us missing our old friends and trying to make the first tenuous links to possible new ones.
I have an idea of how the connections with our old friends will turn out. I've moved from place to place and coast to coast in the U.S. enough times to know that some of the people we knew will still stay in contact and be a part of our lives, while others will devolve to only facebook friends who comment on pictures of our children and send the occasional email our way. I've been guilty of doing the same thing. Long-distance friendships are a difficult thing to keep up.
I'm experiencing something new with this move to England: old and new friends with children as part of the equation. I haven't been very successful in explaining why old friends are gone to my older son. When we skype his old friend in the states, he inevitably gets depressed and asks why he can't have his friend here. He knew this friend since he was three months old. How am I supposed to find a replacement for a friend like that?
Making new friends is a whole other kettle of fish when kids are involved. Its tough enough for me, but for my older son there have been some heartbreaking moments. How does a four-year-old with a profound speech delay make new friends? Watching him try to communicate with other children in the park has been difficult to say the least. I get torn with keeping myself from stepping in and explaining to the other children (who don't really care and just stare at me blankly when I have tried) that the reason he's just joined them out of the blue and is parroting their words back to them instead of answering their questions or even asking if he can play is because he can't speak well and that he just wants to play with them. Inevitably I end up watching as they run off to another part of the park and leave him behind. "Why, mommy? The People. Want back!" he tells me, and yet again I try to tell him that he will make new friends, but he has to be patient, and when school starts things will be better. I don't even want to think of how things at school could go wrong: playground bullying scenarios keep me up at night. I keep telling myself that it wont be too bad in kindergarten/reception, and he was friendly with the children in his preschool up in Shrewsbury. I have to keep hoping that he WILL meet some decent kids. But now even I am wondering when.
So, now that we have completed moving-in to our new place, I have become pro-active in finding new friends for my older son. We can't just wait a month for school to start, and we'll be living here for a year at least. It was time for me to try and make some contact with the other moms. I feel extremely self-conscious just going up to people and saying hi, but I have, and we have met two moms with boys my older son's age. Today I even went so far as to ask one of the moms for her phone number to arrange a play-date in the future, and knocked on another mom's door to arrange a play-date next week. It's about time I make some new friends as well here, and I know that at this stage in my life my friends will probably by the parents of my sons' friends. Thank goodness I only have to worry about my older son. My younger son is young enough to just be happy with us or any toddler that comes his way. Luckily there are quite a lot of toddlers around here, too. I figure that when my older son starts school, I'll have the time to make some forays into friendships for my younger son as well.
Friday, 5 August 2011
England and food
I haven't suffered too much from homesickness and its been almost five months, now. The one place where I feel the most homesick is the grocery store. I didn't expect to miss home while shopping for milk, but its a strange feeling to be looking for something that's common in the states and not seeing it anywhere. Its even stranger to realize that I won't be able to find it anywhere in the country. As far as I know, there are no specialty American stores around like there are for everyone else. I've asked friends for CARE packages, and so far I've gotten some Dunkin Donuts coffee, a large container of taco seasoning, and Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies.
Here are some things I have not found here, or its here, but not really what you would expect:
-proper apple sauce. There's only ultra-sweet table sauce with apples that's used with pork chops. No large jars of Mott's. We all miss that, and trying to make apple sauce in our small apartment would be slightly insane. Maybe when we live in that bucolic farmhouse of my English dreams....
-the Mexican food here is pretty bad. The only decent salsa I've found has been the tiny package in the fajita dinner box. That should give you a good idea of how bad it is. Forget about guacamole, and no sour cream here, either.
-so far I've found no decent pizza; frozen or takeaway.
-no Italian sausages, and I have yet to get used to English sausages. They just taste odd to me. The kids dont mind, though.
No goldfish crackers!
kid alert: gotta go and I'll finish this post later.
Here are some things I have not found here, or its here, but not really what you would expect:
-proper apple sauce. There's only ultra-sweet table sauce with apples that's used with pork chops. No large jars of Mott's. We all miss that, and trying to make apple sauce in our small apartment would be slightly insane. Maybe when we live in that bucolic farmhouse of my English dreams....
-the Mexican food here is pretty bad. The only decent salsa I've found has been the tiny package in the fajita dinner box. That should give you a good idea of how bad it is. Forget about guacamole, and no sour cream here, either.
-so far I've found no decent pizza; frozen or takeaway.
-no Italian sausages, and I have yet to get used to English sausages. They just taste odd to me. The kids dont mind, though.
No goldfish crackers!
kid alert: gotta go and I'll finish this post later.
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
The NHS and Schools during summer break
It seems that England almost closes down during summer break. Maybe its because they have a shorter break ( Mid-July to Early September), or maybe its because the weather is so bad here that everybody is desperate to get out to some sunny place. Either way, I've come across some road blocks in getting things done for Older Son and the rest of the family because of it. Summer break seems to be the time for changes to be done in offices as well. Today I'll be dropping off our applications for a new GP at the only local doctor's office, and I've been informed by them that we wont be actually accepted into the practice for a month because they're transferring everything to a new computer system. I've been trying to get a hold of Older Son's speech therapist who did his review for the NHS, and the office up in Shrewsbury is moving or something and she wasn't there anyway, so I was only able to leave a message for her.....and I'm learning that leaving a message at any office around here is like writing it on a postcard and mailing it to someone who cares. I've started writing down in my notebook when I've left messages and when I should call again if I haven't heard back in a few days so that weeks don't go by without any reply.
Dealing with the NHS and the schools is beginning to remind me of that Monty Python sketch about the man who goes into the cheese shop for cheese: John Cleese keeps asking Michael Palin if he has different types of cheeses and is told again and again that there is none. "Do you have any Emmenthaler?" "Nope", "any Cheddar?" "Yes", "Then bring on the Cheddar!" "Oh, sorry, sir, the cat's just eaten it." I hope that it wont be like that, but everyone who has dealt with the schools or NHS has told me to not have too high expectations. I've been told that I need to be rude and a squeeky wheel, and to not worry about coming across as THAT Mom, because any perceived rudeness will be attributed to me being an American. Well, at least I have that going for me.
Dealing with the NHS and the schools is beginning to remind me of that Monty Python sketch about the man who goes into the cheese shop for cheese: John Cleese keeps asking Michael Palin if he has different types of cheeses and is told again and again that there is none. "Do you have any Emmenthaler?" "Nope", "any Cheddar?" "Yes", "Then bring on the Cheddar!" "Oh, sorry, sir, the cat's just eaten it." I hope that it wont be like that, but everyone who has dealt with the schools or NHS has told me to not have too high expectations. I've been told that I need to be rude and a squeeky wheel, and to not worry about coming across as THAT Mom, because any perceived rudeness will be attributed to me being an American. Well, at least I have that going for me.
Kids' clothes
There's no cheap kids' clothing store like Old Navy or The Children's Place over here. I miss that. Instead, there's the charity shops for good second-hand clothes, and for new clothes there's the grocery stores Sainsbury's and Tesco. I found it a little strange that they had a clothing section next to the fruit aisle, but the TU clothing line is ok. They also have a school clothes section now that its the summer holidays. I wonder how it will be dressing Older Son in his grey pants, white polo t-shirt, and purple sweatshirt with the school logo every day of the school year. As usual, there's more of a selection in the girl clothes, but that's how it is all over. I still have to get the black shoes and his gym kit. I wonder how the teachers manage to get thirty five-year-olds changed out of their clothes and in shorts and t-shirt without it devolving into total chaos and taking up the entire gym period, but I guess they're experienced at this sort of thing.
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
Things I find strange about England
I hope to make this a continuing post, as I will have more things to add the longer I am here....so, here goes:
1. why are the refrigerators so small? What's up with that? I know that America has become a punchline for everything being super-sized, but really, why have such a small fridge? It means I have to go to the grocery store more often to get the smaller-sized portions of things to fit in my smaller fridge.
2. Why do we have to pay for cable t.v., and THEN have to pay for the privilege of actually possessing a t.v. and watching BBC 1, 2, 3 and 4, which don't come free anymore after they've gone digital, anyway?
3. The newscasters all have a segment in the morning where they show everyone the cover stories on the morning newspapers and talk about them. Am I the only person who finds this strange? Watching people on t.v. news reading the news from the papers? Don't they already know the news? Why are they transcribing it from another news source?
4. There's not just one goodwill store here like in the states. In all of the downtowns I've visited here there are at least five charity shops covering different charities like the heart foundation or cancer research or even taking care of stray cats. You don't drop off your old clothes and books anonymously at drop-off bins like back home, you bring them directly to the shop and give them to the folks who work there.
5. People walk around here a LOT more than back in the states. I've gotten used to going out with shopping bags and hauling groceries and stuff back home just like everyone else.....makes me feel like I'm back in college again.
6. The whole changing "-or" to "-our" thing; like flavour, savour, colour....every time I see these words on packaging or any kind of print here it hits me right in my grammar teacher's heart. I keep thinking that if they're spelled that way, then why don't they rhyme with devour, hour, sour?
7. Cricket.
1. why are the refrigerators so small? What's up with that? I know that America has become a punchline for everything being super-sized, but really, why have such a small fridge? It means I have to go to the grocery store more often to get the smaller-sized portions of things to fit in my smaller fridge.
2. Why do we have to pay for cable t.v., and THEN have to pay for the privilege of actually possessing a t.v. and watching BBC 1, 2, 3 and 4, which don't come free anymore after they've gone digital, anyway?
3. The newscasters all have a segment in the morning where they show everyone the cover stories on the morning newspapers and talk about them. Am I the only person who finds this strange? Watching people on t.v. news reading the news from the papers? Don't they already know the news? Why are they transcribing it from another news source?
4. There's not just one goodwill store here like in the states. In all of the downtowns I've visited here there are at least five charity shops covering different charities like the heart foundation or cancer research or even taking care of stray cats. You don't drop off your old clothes and books anonymously at drop-off bins like back home, you bring them directly to the shop and give them to the folks who work there.
5. People walk around here a LOT more than back in the states. I've gotten used to going out with shopping bags and hauling groceries and stuff back home just like everyone else.....makes me feel like I'm back in college again.
6. The whole changing "-or" to "-our" thing; like flavour, savour, colour....every time I see these words on packaging or any kind of print here it hits me right in my grammar teacher's heart. I keep thinking that if they're spelled that way, then why don't they rhyme with devour, hour, sour?
7. Cricket.
Three weeks in.....
Hello everyone,
Well, its not actually three weeks in the UK. We've been here since March 2011 living with my mother-in-law up in Shrewsbury, but its now three weeks since we've all moved into our apartment here in Worcester Park. I've decided to write this blog to help any parents, especially parents of children with learning disabilities, who decide like we did to do this crazy move across the ocean to start our lives all over again. Maybe some of you will be able to give me some advice, since I am quite the fish out of water here sometimes.
Today I'm trying to yet again get my son's speech therapy report to the people at the speech and language department of the Kingston district. It was supposed to have been faxed there by the speech therapist up in Shrewsbury almost a month ago, but after finally getting a hold of them by phone and being told that they did not have his report and they would get back to me, then not hearing from them for a week and having to call again to have them say that they really don't have it, I am now going to try and call the therapist up in Shrewsbury to ask her to send it again. If she doesn't have it, then I'm going to have to find a way to get a copy of the report I have to them......difficult to do without a car and with two children. I have found that the bureaucracy in England is particularly difficult and absent-minded; especially when it comes to schools and the NHS. This blog will be full of rants in the future if what I have experienced so far is any indication. (I will relate the frustrating first meeting with older son's new school in another blog, as I am on borrowed nap time).
I'd like to end each blog with some likes and dislikes of England, so here goes:
LIKES:
-Dark Chocolate Digestive Biscuits
-The fact that the main street (high street) here has a vegetable stand (fruiterers) and a butcher shop....something you would not see in the US anymore. The people at the fruiterers already know older son's name as we are in there almost every day and he loves all fruits and veggies.....also probably because I have to watch that he doesn't just "take" something and eat it as we leave.
-there is a very good train and bus system here, and we don't feel the loss of our car as much as I thought we would. I'm getting a lot of walking done, which I like, especially since its a pleasant time to spend with the boys.
-there is wild blackberries and lavender growing everywhere around here, which is strange to have so much wilderness around when we are about a half an hour away from London by train. England seems to be much closer to the farm than the US is.
Well, its not actually three weeks in the UK. We've been here since March 2011 living with my mother-in-law up in Shrewsbury, but its now three weeks since we've all moved into our apartment here in Worcester Park. I've decided to write this blog to help any parents, especially parents of children with learning disabilities, who decide like we did to do this crazy move across the ocean to start our lives all over again. Maybe some of you will be able to give me some advice, since I am quite the fish out of water here sometimes.
Today I'm trying to yet again get my son's speech therapy report to the people at the speech and language department of the Kingston district. It was supposed to have been faxed there by the speech therapist up in Shrewsbury almost a month ago, but after finally getting a hold of them by phone and being told that they did not have his report and they would get back to me, then not hearing from them for a week and having to call again to have them say that they really don't have it, I am now going to try and call the therapist up in Shrewsbury to ask her to send it again. If she doesn't have it, then I'm going to have to find a way to get a copy of the report I have to them......difficult to do without a car and with two children. I have found that the bureaucracy in England is particularly difficult and absent-minded; especially when it comes to schools and the NHS. This blog will be full of rants in the future if what I have experienced so far is any indication. (I will relate the frustrating first meeting with older son's new school in another blog, as I am on borrowed nap time).
I'd like to end each blog with some likes and dislikes of England, so here goes:
LIKES:
-Dark Chocolate Digestive Biscuits
-The fact that the main street (high street) here has a vegetable stand (fruiterers) and a butcher shop....something you would not see in the US anymore. The people at the fruiterers already know older son's name as we are in there almost every day and he loves all fruits and veggies.....also probably because I have to watch that he doesn't just "take" something and eat it as we leave.
-there is a very good train and bus system here, and we don't feel the loss of our car as much as I thought we would. I'm getting a lot of walking done, which I like, especially since its a pleasant time to spend with the boys.
-there is wild blackberries and lavender growing everywhere around here, which is strange to have so much wilderness around when we are about a half an hour away from London by train. England seems to be much closer to the farm than the US is.
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